THE ABCs OF REVISION

By Kate Rizor

Reprint from Novel Advice

Writers always fall in love with their words. By the time the word count of their novel exceeds 90,000, beginning writers are already planning their next. In the excitement, their "revision" consists of retyping a few words, switching a paragraph here, substituting another there, completing a spell and grammar check...revision complete!

But much more goes into revision than that. Revision allows great writers to stand apart from the mediocre, and by following the ABCs of revision below, it could be the difference between a slush pile and a book contract.

A: ADJECTIVES AND ADVERBS

Beginning writers have the tendency to overdue everything, including adjectives and adverbs. They feel it necessary to slip in that descriptive word before every noun and attach the "ly" after each verb. These words draw attention to the writer instead of the scene. To avoid this, look for unnecessary modifiers that drain the life from your story. Rather than, "The angry woman forcefully slammed the door," try "The woman slammed the door."

B: BACKGROUND
The work that went into creating your characters is actually what makes your story believable. Less experienced novelists would add the character's background right before it was needed but if you supply the information in the beginning, it is absorbed by readers as part of the character instead of something you needed in the spur-of-the moment.

C: CLICHES
"Tall, dark and handsome" is a big no-no but it continues to happen and shows that a writer doesn't care to be original.

D: DIALOGUE
Your characters should speak the way we all do. Their thoughts remain unfinished. They get interrupted or stammer. If they don't, they come across sounding stagy. Read your work aloud. Does it sound authentic?

E: ENTRANCES AND EXITS
Don't take unnecessary time and space on the page moving characters back and forth or opening and closing doors. We don't need to see or know every movement a character makes. Just get them where they need to go.

F: FLASHBACKS
Far too often, flashbacks merely confuse readers. Flashbacks also bring the scene to a screeching halt and leave readers hanging. Instead, can you state in sentences or dialogue what would normally take one to two pages of a flashback?

G: GRAMMAR
Poor grammar is considered amateurish and an easy way to get rejected if it's not right. Dozens of handbooks are available and it's worth getting one when revising.

H: HO-HUM ENDINGS
Too many beginners leave readers hanging in the end. Readers don't want cliffhangers; they want a neatly wrapped package. Also, be sure to end strongly because these are the last words the reader "hears" in the end. Will your reader remember it long after putting the book down?

I: INTRODUCTIONS
Have you introduced your characters at the right time? Introducing someone too soon may lessen the impact. Introducing him too late seems like a last-ditch effort to resolve a conflict. It's more effective to have readers meet a character who hints at a purpose and builds toward the revelation.

J: JUSTIFICATION
Is a particular scene necessary? Does it advance the plot? If not, it should go. Does the character have a purpose or does she fade away in the middle of the story? Justify every element of your story, including plot, characters and scenes.

K: KLUTZY TRANSITIONS
A writer's goal is to move from one scene to another without confusing the reader. You want them to follow you sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph. Also, look for transitional words that might not serve a purpose: and, but, for, in, addition, nonetheless, in conclusion, nevertheless and however.

L: LANGUAGE
Language is essential and a deficiency in many manuscripts. We have a wonderfully rich language. A thesaurus should be among your references to further expand your knowledge of words.

M: MOMENTUM
All too often the first few paragraphs drag and only serve to describe setting or character. Consider cutting out your entire first paragraph and anything else that doesn't get to the meat of the story. Can you increase the pace by breaking a chapter into two? Is there some white space on the page or is it filled with never-ending text? Anything that slows the eye will also slow your story's momentum.

N: NONWORKING, IDLE WORDS
Essentially, basically, ultimately and inevitably are meaningless words. Suddenly is also overused. Inexperienced writers often try to make things more faster-paced by having everything happen suddenly.

O: OVERWRITING
You write page after page but your story seems to be dragging. And then you realize you've spent two pages describing your character's apartment and how she's primping for a date. Get on with it and get to what's important: the date.

P: PASSIVE VERSUS ACTIVE
Avoid passive voice or passive verbs because they de-emphasize the action. Readers may miss something important because it was weakly worded. Instead of saying, "The flag was carried into battle by the boy," say "The boy carried the flag into battle."

Q: QUESTION
After your first draft, question everything. Have you chosen the best setting? Does your point-of-view work? Would it be better from the villain's perspective? If so, what insight does that give you about your hero? The plot? Does it change how you see those elements?

R: REVISING (Once Again)
Make your initial changes, put the manuscript away and rest. Pick it up at a later time and begin again.

S: STEREOTYPES
Why are fraternity brothers always drinking beer? Why are cheerleaders always blond and blue-eyed? When a character is a stereotype, the story often needs a complete rewrite to turn the character into a three-dimensional being.

T: TELLING VERSUS SHOWING
If we want to be told something, we would read the newspaper. Fiction readers want to see the scene unfold and be part of it. They don't want to be told that "he was scared when he entered the dark house." They want to know that "his breath caught in his throat when he entered the dark house."

U: UNDEVELOPED CHARACTERIZATION Make sure your characters are believable and developed. Build biographies for them. Cut out magazine pictures to represent how they will look. Check for consistency in their reactions. Also, keep only those characters that serve a purpose. If they do nothing for your story line, take them out.

V: VERBS
Am, are, is, was, were, being and been dilute the action in a sentence so try substituting something more catchy.

W: WORDINESS
Editors suggest that new writers can cut their stories by 10 to 50 percent. Word weeding can begin by eliminating adjectives and adverbs and cutting right to the chase.

X: XEROXED STORIES
These cookie cutter stories occur often in the romance genre: same plot, different names. There are no surprises in the end. There is nothing special about the characters or the plot. These stories have been done and redone and need not be done again.

Y: YAWNER OPENINGS
You have only precious seconds to grab the reader's attention. You better pack all your punch into your opening words. And this includes every "opening" in your story - your book, each chapter, each transition. Don't lead up to the action. Drop into the action. Without a strong or intriguing beginning, you could risk losing the reader.

Z: ZERO MOTIVE
Both writer and character must have motivation for their actions. Are all motivations clear to the reader, or are things happening because you need them to in order to resolve a conflict?

Revision is the less glamorous side of writing. It's where writers learn discipline by breaking their novel down word by word, paragraph by paragraph, page by page. And it's well worth it: most editors and agents can spot the difference between a first draft and a second, third or even fourth.

Yeah, it sounds like a lot of work. And it is. So why put all this effort into revising? The answer is simple: because you don't want another writer to think, "I could write better than that."

Copyright 2003 Kate Rizor (katerizor@hotmail.com)